Gestation

I dont know if its just breast cancer month, or what, but pastel pink has been calling my attention a lot lately. a color so sweet shouldnt represent such an alarming disease, i always thought, but recently i havent been seeing it as suave. its not hard on the eyes or anything. im not saying that. i just think its become more eye-catching lately. am i repeating myself? what i want to say is that it makes me pretty happy. its that type of thing that you dont detect until its up against a bright white thing, and then you notice it like a bright red sock got in the wash. like you walk into a room and that flower smell hits you in the face. like bubblegum bubbles pop! i see it and i think, "there it is." its like that pack of batteries by the checkout stand that reminds you your flashlight died. "oh yeah. i need that."

The other night, Krysta, Cailah, Leah and I went and saw the movie with the spanish title Gestacion. ITs a costa rican movie about a bigh school couple that gets pregnant and everything that has to do with that. she goes to a catholic high school and gets alienated by the principal in strange ways. she has to use the back entrance, cant wear the school uniform, has her own teachers, and cant go out to recess to see her friends. but her friends mount a fight against the school, and it gives you a prety good stick it to the man feeling. the guys mom wants a paternity test, and he doesnt really stand up for his girlfriend in that. he gets scared and isnt absolutely supportive 100% of the time, so they break up. am i ruining it?

its an interesting story, but what was better was that (first, that krysta brought brownies to the theatre) and that the whole movie is shot in San Jose, so there are loads of glamour shots of the central park and the skyline. you find yourself silently exclaiming repeatedly, I've been to that mall! I take that bus! i pass by that restaurant called "la casa del sandwich" every time i go to the city! what was even better was that, first, that i could understand the movie without subtitles, but even more, that i had heard all the slang before. being the first Costa Rican movie about Costa Rica in a while (years), they went heavy on the cultural identifiers. every other word is the uniquely tico version of dude, and well, they just slanged it up a bunch. their relationship is even romeo-and-julietized by their loves for opposing rival soccer teams, Saprissa and Liga, which is a rivalry ive seen played out in person. (see flaming stadium on my birthday). Anyway, the whole thing was done in such a strong "this is how its done in my country" attitude, that it sorta universalized all the quirks on a national level. it removed all doubt that the folks from my town are not the latin american version of hicks or hillbillies. it took my worries away. Every community has a goofy neighbor you cant understand. even the rich eat rice and beans for breakfast. this is simply just how its done in this country. im becoming more ok with that.

in fact, i should confess, this movie sorta humanized the whole experience for me. these arent just Ticos, or the people in the country im serving -subjects- they are people for reals with thoughts and pasts and elbows that itch sometimes. i dont know. this morning our bus pulled up next to a messenger on a vespa, and i watched him for a while, realizing he wasnt just a prop, however interesting he was, but a real person most likely thinking of things in his life that are much more important that riding a vespa. then we got to a roundabout, and he continued to spin left while we turned right, and out of view. i dont know if i can explain it, but after seeing that movie, i dont feel so alone.

to completely contradict what i just said, i have been asking how is it that sometimes the best things that you would rate as your top faves can sometimes completely suck the life out of you. Suck. The. Life. i cant even name a few. you wouldnt believe it. but for instance, this weekend i played in a soccer tournament. Soccer! Tournament! those words rank up there with vacation, free money, love, ice cream. i should have had a blast, left satisfyingly tired and be telling you about the game winning bicycle kick goal i scored. no. instead, i have stories of sunburns, blisters, second place, a broken heart, and a busted chin. I'd love to accompany this post with a picture, but im awful at autophotos with this camera. i was going in for a ball and someone slapped me with their wrist bone. i came out with the ball and the foul, and he complained of a hurt wrist, but when i looked down at the hand that touched my face, i was covered in blood. who knew? it was gushy gush for a little while, but the ladies at the snack stand assured me that it wasnt terrible. 2its not life or death or anything like when my husband cracked open his skull" this one lady told me. thanks. it is not that bad. i was looking more for feedback like do i need a stitch or no. i let it bleed for the rest of the day, and eventually it dried. i decided just to let it be. i think it will be alright. most people dont even notice.

im going to stop talking about it, because everytime i do, i feel sorta sick and vulnerable, like when im watching a horror film and i hope something never happens to me. but this did happen to me and i still feel pain. also, i had to shave today but i didnt dare come near the cut, so i have this little mini goatee. its really just a jagged dot the size of my finger tip on the bottom side of my chin, but it makes me want this to heal real fast so i can get rid of that. ok. im almost flinching.

ok. where has october gone? we're 2/3 the way through. im not ready for that.
talk to you soon.